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11 Hilarious Movie Quotes That Never Get Old

Comedy movies have been around for nearly as long as cinema itself. In 1895, Louis Lumière, one of the earliest filmmakers in history, directed L'Arroseur Arrosé, a short, silent, black-and-white film that many historians consider to be the first example of a comedy movie. In the film, an impish child torments a hapless gardener as the latter attempts to water his plants.

Since then, of course, comedy movies have become a staple of the silver screen. From the early days of vaudevillian slapstick to clever satirical films and the pure silliness of funnymen such as Jim Carrey and Leslie Nielsen, big-screen comedies have long entertained audiences with hilarious on-screen pratfalls and one-liners.

Here are 11 of the most hilarious movie quotes of all time, from funny films such as Dr. Strangelove, Airplane!, and Bridesmaids.

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
President Merkin Muffley (Peter Sellers) in “Dr. Strangelove,” 1964

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At times, Stanley Kubrick’s classic black comedy is about as dark as you can get, relentlessly mocking contemporary Cold War attitudes and the horrific notion of mutually assured destruction by nuclear weapons. But it also has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments, such as this one.

I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty-headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
French Soldier (John Cleese) in “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” 1975

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Arthurian legend took an exceedingly silly turn in this classic Monty Python satire, which consistently ranks as one of the funniest films ever made.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Marlo Manners (Mae West) in “Sextette,” 1977

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Mae West is credited with various versions of this famous line, which she first said on camera in the 1978 musical comedy Sextette. The movie features a truly eclectic ensemble cast that includes Timothy Dalton, Tony Curtis, Ringo Starr, Keith Moon, George Hamilton, and Alice Cooper.

There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
Elaine Dickinson (Julie Hagerty) in “Airplane!,” 1980

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Unswervingly silly and yet complex in its absurdity, Airplane! forever changed the trajectory of comedy movies, unleashing a slew of spoofs and parodies. It also starred iconic funnyman Leslie Nielsen in one of his earliest comedy roles.

Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Isms, in my opinion, are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism; he should believe in himself.
Ferris Bueller (Matthew Broderick) in “Ferris Bueller's Day Off,” 1986

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Filmmaker John Hughes wrote the screenplay for Ferris Bueller's Day Off in less than a week, which is pretty amazing considering its status as one of the most eminently quotable comedies of all time.

I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr. … Poopy Pants?
Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen) in “The Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear,” 1991

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Following the success of Airplane!, Leslie Nielsen established himself as the king of deadpan comedy in the 1980s and ’90s, due in no small part to his appearances as Lt. Frank Drebin in the Naked Gun franchise.

People of Sherwood, you been had! Hoodwinked! Bamboozled! Run amok! We didn’t land on Sherwood Forest; Sherwood Forest landed on us!
Ahchoo (Dave Chappelle) in “Robin Hood: Men in Tights,” 1993

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Celebrated comedic filmmaker Mel Brooks parodied the classic tale of Robin Hood in this swashbuckling romp, starring Cary Elwes (of The Princess Bride fame) in the title role.

According to the map, we've only gone 4 inches.
Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels) in “Dumb and Dumber,” 1994

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The movie that launched the careers of the Farrelly brothers also cemented Jim Carrey’s reputation as one of Hollywood’s most legendary comedic actors  — while showing the world that Jeff Daniels, previously known solely as a dramatic actor, also had a very silly side.

I don’t think my father, the inventor of Toaster Strudel, would be too pleased to hear about this.
Gretchen Wieners (Lacey Chabert) in “Mean Girls,” 2004

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A cult classic and a pop culture phenomenon that even has its own holiday, Mean Girls is widely considered one of the most quotable movies ever made, as well as a clever and cutting critique of high school social cliques and bullying.

It's where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it's not a purse, it's called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis) in “The Hangover,” 2009

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Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, and Zach Galifianakis — with some help from Mike Tyson and a tiger — teamed up for this surprise smash hit, which remains one of the highest-grossing R-rated comedies in history.

At first I did not know it was your diary. I thought it was a very sad handwritten book.
Brynn (Rebel Wilson) in “Bridesmaids,” 2011

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A critical and commercial success, Bridesmaids was a breakthrough for female-centered comedy, proving that a brilliantly written, fearless, and raunchy comedy focused on women could put up big numbers at the box office.

Featured image credit: AJ Pics/ Alamy Stock Photo

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About the Author
Tony Dunnell
Tony is an English writer of non-fiction and fiction living on the edge of the Amazon jungle.
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