Books have the magical ability to evoke a wide range of emotions in their readers, including uproarious laughter. A well-written novel can be just as funny as an episode of your favorite sitcom or a blockbuster comedy movie when written by an author who’s adept at tickling our funny bones. The sharp humor of a talented wordsmith is often worthy competition for even the most prolific stand-up comedians.
From Shakespeare’s day all the way up to modern times, wry humorists such as Kurt Vonnegut and Erma Bombeck — just to name a couple — have delighted their readership with witty quips and quotes that offer a biting, sometimes satirical take on the world around us.
Here are 12 literary one-liners from some of the funniest people to ever pick up a pen (or a typewriter or keyboard). Of course, comedy is highly subjective, but there are bound to be some lines on this list that resonate with your sense of humor and bring a smile to your face.
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.Oscar Wilde, “Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime”
People always live forever when there is an annuity to be paid them.Jane Austen, “Sense and Sensibility”
If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.Lemony Snicket, “Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid”
Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.Terry Pratchett, “Jingo”
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.Douglas Adams, “The Restaurant at the End of the Universe”
When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.Erma Bombeck, “When You Look Like Your Passport Photo, It’s Time to Go Home”
The voice of love seemed to call me, but it was a wrong number.P. G. Wodehouse, “Very Good, Jeeves”
We have cats because they amuse us and because otherwise our clothes would lack the texture only cat hair can provide.John Scalzi, “Starter Villain”
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.Mark Twain, “The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson”
Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops.Kurt Vonnegut, “Slaughterhouse-Five”
He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.Joseph Heller, “Catch-22”
How art thou out of breath, when thou hast breath / To say to me that thou art out of breath?William Shakespeare, “Romeo and Juliet”
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