Article image

12 of the Funniest Quotes From Great Novels

Sometimes a good laugh can sneak up on you in the most unexpected places, as in the middle of an otherwise dramatic scene in a piece of great literature.

Even when we expect a book to be humorous, reading an unexpectedly funny line feels like stumbling upon a hidden treasure. It’s a secret, knowing wink shared between author and reader, connecting countless generations of readers and reminding us of humor’s timeless nature.

Eliciting chuckles using silent words printed on a page is no easy feat — but these witty gems, tucked away in books both classic and modern, are capable of doing just that. We remember them because they resonate with us, and we share them because we recognize ourselves and our experiences in them.

From Jane Austen and Douglas Adams to Oscar Wilde and David Foster Wallace, here are 12 of the funniest lines in literary history.

After God Shakespeare has created most.
James Joyce, “Ulysses”

Share Quote

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.
Joseph Heller, “Catch-22”

Share Quote

Mother cooked a big breakfast. And then, when she cleared off the table, she found a quarter and a dime and three pennies by Father’s coffee cup. He’d tipped her.
Kurt Vonnegut, “Cat’s Cradle”

Share Quote

Fox-terriers are born with about four times as much original sin in them as other dogs are, and it will take years and years of patient effort on the part of us Christians to bring about any appreciable reformation in the rowdiness of the fox-terrier nature.
Jerome K. Jerome, “Three Men in a Boat”

Share Quote

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
Douglas Adams, “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”

Share Quote

Money’s a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet.
Henry James, “The Portrait of a Lady”

Share Quote

An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.
Jane Austen, "Pride and Prejudice”

Share Quote

There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it.
C.S. Lewis, “The Voyage of the Dawn Treader”

Share Quote

There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends.
Sylvia Plath, “The Bell Jar”

Share Quote

This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.
William Goldman, “The Princess Bride”

Share Quote

She was a curious woman, whose dresses always looked as if they had been designed in a rage and put on in a tempest.
Oscar Wilde, “The Picture of Dorian Gray”

Share Quote

It’s a funny thing about mothers and fathers. Even when their own child is the most disgusting little blister you could ever imagine, they still think that he or she is wonderful.
Roald Dahl, “Matilda”

Share Quote

Featured image credit: sjbooks/ Alamy Stock Photo

Author image
About the Author
Kristina Wright
Kristina is a coffee-fueled writer living happily ever after with her family in the suburbs of Richmond, Virginia.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "___ is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect." - Steve Jobs

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

You can't learn style. Style, I think, is in your DNA.

separator icon
Iris Apfel
motivation theme icon

In art and dream may you proceed with abandon. In life may you proceed with balance and stealth.

separator icon
Patti Smith
hope theme icon

Art is about finding creativity in the gutter next to you.

separator icon
Olafur Eliasson
love theme icon

You must not try to make love definite. It is the divine accident of life.

separator icon
Sherwood Anderson
wisdom theme icon

He who has peace of mind disturbs neither himself nor another.

separator icon
Epicurus
happiness theme icon

You make your life meaningful by applying meaning to it.

separator icon
Sheila Heti
motivation theme icon

The great tragedy of life is not that men perish, but that they cease to love.

separator icon
William Somerset Maugham
hope theme icon

Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.

separator icon
William Shakespeare
love theme icon

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

separator icon
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
wisdom theme icon

Love... is the honoring of others in a way that grants them the grace of their own autonomy.

separator icon
Anne Truitt
happiness theme icon

We cannot be more sensitive to pleasure without being more sensitive to pain.

separator icon
Alan Watts