Not everyone has the sharp tongue and quick wit necessary to pull off a clever zinger, but those who do often leave everyone within earshot feeling both shocked and delighted. The perfect zinger takes people by surprise and relies on a combination of wordplay, humor, and sometimes biting satire. Some of the funniest zingers are self-deprecating in nature, as most people admire the ability to poke fun at oneself.
You don’t have to be a comedian to pull off these snappy retorts — some of history’s most memorable barbs have been coined by novelists, actors, and even politicians. Great minds such as Winston Churchill and Mae West have become almost mythical figures of sorts, renowned throughout history for their witty wisecracks and raunchy rejoinders. In many cases, these off-the-cuff remarks have long stood the test of time, remaining as piercing today as when they were first uttered all those decades ago.
To brighten your day and inspire your own sense of wit, here are 12 of the best zingers from some of the smartest individuals to ever walk the planet.
The difference between reality and fiction? Fiction has to make sense.Tom Clancy
I’ve always liked older men. They’re just more attractive to me. Of course, at my age there aren’t that many left.Betty White
I have the simplest tastes. I am always satisfied with the best.Oscar Wilde
I reckon some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.Elizabeth Taylor
Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest.Mark Twain
I don’t need you to remind me of my age, I have a bladder to do that for me.Stephen Fry
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.Winston Churchill
Never doubt the courage of the French. They were the ones who discovered that snails are edible.Doug Larson
The United States was founded by the brightest people in the country — and we haven’t seen them since.– Gore Vidal
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.Joan Rivers
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.Mae West
I’ve been called worse things by better people.Pierre Trudeau
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