Article image

Quotes That Prove Dating Can Be Hilarious

If life were like a romantic comedy, every date would begin with a coy flirtation such as, “You had me at hello,” and end with a swoon-worthy kiss. Alas, dating is usually a bit trickier than that. Sure, it can be fun, but it can also be an uphill slog of difficult dinners, forced conversation, and uneasy agreements to never see each other again.

This intersection of optimistic romantic possibility and outright awkwardness makes dating a minefield of emotions with a wide array of potential outcomes: A first date can lead to marriage or a solemn swear to never, ever date again.

When we date, we bare ourselves, our interests, and our values to people who essentially start out as total strangers. This puts us in a uniquely vulnerable position, and humor is one way to cope when making ourselves vulnerable doesn’t go according to plan. It’s no surprise, then, that courtship is a subject rife for comedy.

Here are 13 quotes from Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, Cher, and more that shed some light on the funny side of dating.

Let's face it: A date is a job interview that lasts all night.
Jerry Seinfeld

Share Quote

I feel that after you’ve dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what’s wrong with them. That way the next person doesn’t have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner

Share Quote

A girl can wait for the right man to come along — but in the meantime, that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.
Cher

Share Quote

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
Wendy Liebman

Share Quote

On my first date, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to eat à la carte, and I said that I would prefer to stay inside!
Cristin Milioti

Share Quote

Dating a man is like flying a kite. You only need to know when to wind up the string or let it out.
Jenna Alatari

Share Quote

Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier.
Caprice Crane

Share Quote

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.
Susan Healy

Share Quote

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.
Chelsea Handler

Share Quote

I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Dave Attell

Share Quote

There’s something uniquely valuable in everyone, and we’ll be much happier and better off if we invest the time and energy it takes to find it. But seriously, if the person doesn’t clip their toenails or wear clean socks, look elsewhere. There are plenty of options.
Aziz Ansari

Share Quote

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
Larry David

Share Quote

I was out on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
Susie Loucks

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Giuseppe_R/ Shutterstock

Author image
About the Author
Tony Dunnell
Tony is an English writer of non-fiction and fiction living on the edge of the Amazon jungle.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Who said, "You exist only in what you do"?

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

There will always be someone who can't see your worth. Don't let it be you.

separator icon
Mel Robbins
motivation theme icon

Admire as much as you can, most people don't admire enough.

separator icon
Vincent van Gogh
hope theme icon

Resilience — the ability to brush off pain.

separator icon
Kristen Roupenian
love theme icon

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.

separator icon
Alan Watts
wisdom theme icon

Don’t be afraid to be confused. Try to remain permanently confused. Anything is possible.

separator icon
George Saunders
happiness theme icon

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, but it empties it of its strength.

separator icon
George Seaton Bowes
motivation theme icon

'Tis never too late to be wise.

separator icon
Daniel Defoe
hope theme icon

The truth will set you free. But not until it is finished with you.

separator icon
David Foster Wallace
love theme icon

Success isn’t about how your life looks to others; it’s about how it feels to you.

separator icon
Michelle Obama
wisdom theme icon

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.

separator icon
Jane Goodall
happiness theme icon

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

separator icon
Kurt Vonnegut