Article image

Quotes That Prove Dating Can Be Hilarious

If life were like a romantic comedy, every date would begin with a coy flirtation such as, “You had me at hello,” and end with a swoon-worthy kiss. Alas, dating is usually a bit trickier than that. Sure, it can be fun, but it can also be an uphill slog of difficult dinners, forced conversation, and uneasy agreements to never see each other again.

This intersection of optimistic romantic possibility and outright awkwardness makes dating a minefield of emotions with a wide array of potential outcomes: A first date can lead to marriage or a solemn swear to never, ever date again.

When we date, we bare ourselves, our interests, and our values to people who essentially start out as total strangers. This puts us in a uniquely vulnerable position, and humor is one way to cope when making ourselves vulnerable doesn’t go according to plan. It’s no surprise, then, that courtship is a subject rife for comedy.

Here are 13 quotes from Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, Cher, and more that shed some light on the funny side of dating.

Let's face it: A date is a job interview that lasts all night.
Jerry Seinfeld

Share Quote

I feel that after you’ve dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what’s wrong with them. That way the next person doesn’t have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner

Share Quote

A girl can wait for the right man to come along — but in the meantime, that doesn’t mean she can’t have a wonderful time with all the wrong ones.
Cher

Share Quote

I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog.
Wendy Liebman

Share Quote

On my first date, my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to eat à la carte, and I said that I would prefer to stay inside!
Cristin Milioti

Share Quote

Dating a man is like flying a kite. You only need to know when to wind up the string or let it out.
Jenna Alatari

Share Quote

Dating is like pushing your tray along in a cafeteria. Nothing looks good, but you know you have to pick something by the time you reach the cashier.
Caprice Crane

Share Quote

Whenever I want a really nice meal, I start dating again.
Susan Healy

Share Quote

I went out with a guy who once told me I didn't need to drink to make myself more fun to be around. I told him, I'm drinking so that you're more fun to be around.
Chelsea Handler

Share Quote

I was on a date with this really hot model. Well, it wasn’t really a date-date. We just ate dinner and saw a movie. Then the plane landed.
Dave Attell

Share Quote

There’s something uniquely valuable in everyone, and we’ll be much happier and better off if we invest the time and energy it takes to find it. But seriously, if the person doesn’t clip their toenails or wear clean socks, look elsewhere. There are plenty of options.
Aziz Ansari

Share Quote

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.
Larry David

Share Quote

I was out on a date recently and the guy took me horseback riding. That was kind of fun, until we ran out of quarters.
Susie Loucks

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Giuseppe_R/ Shutterstock

Author image
About the Author
Tony Dunnell
Tony is an English writer of non-fiction and fiction living on the edge of the Amazon jungle.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "___ is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect." - Steve Jobs

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.

separator icon
Seneca
motivation theme icon

Falsehood is so easy, truth so difficult.

separator icon
George Eliot
hope theme icon

The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.

separator icon
Eden Phillpotts
love theme icon

Love... is the honoring of others in a way that grants them the grace of their own autonomy.

separator icon
Anne Truitt
wisdom theme icon

You will never get any more out of life than you expect.

separator icon
Bruce Lee
happiness theme icon

My only advice is to stay aware, listen carefully, and yell for help if you need it.

separator icon
Judy Blume
motivation theme icon

A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us.

separator icon
Franz Kafka
hope theme icon

To go wrong in one's own way is better than to go right in someone else's.

separator icon
Fyodor Dostoevsky
love theme icon

Words empowered by justice can never be silenced.

separator icon
Isabel Ibañez
wisdom theme icon

Attention is a moral act: It creates, brings aspects of things into being.

separator icon
Iain McGilchrist
happiness theme icon

Human beings must always be on the watch for the coming of wonders.

separator icon
E.B. White