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The Best Quotes From ‘Steel Magnolias’

Steel Magnolias is the perfect movie for any mood. Whether we want to laugh or cry or we’re just in need of some nostalgia-tinged comfort, this 1989 classic has us covered — and it never gets old, no matter how many times we’ve seen it.

The movie was adapted from a 1987 off-Broadway play written by Robert Harling, which he based on the life of his younger sister, Susan (who’s represented by Shelby in the story). Harling, who also wrote the movie’s screenplay, beautifully captures the unique, adaptable, and indestructible bonds among women.

No matter our age or gender, we can all find pieces of ourselves in the immaculately drawn characters: the acerbic Ouiser, the elegant and gossipy Clairee, the sweet and sassy Truvy, the devoted M’Lynn, the stubbornly brave Shelby, the soul-searching Annelle, and even the playful Drum. As we rewatch Steel Magnolias over the years, the characters we relate most to may fluctuate, just like the seasons of life depicted in the film — and that’s what makes this story so beautifully timeless.

One of our favorite aspects of this movie, though, is how well its humor has stood the test of time. Check out the following quotes for proof, then snuggle up and treat yourself to a viewing of this perennial favorite.

Well, you know what they say: If you don't have anything nice to say about anybody, come sit by me!
Clairee Belcher (Olympia Dukakis)

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I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years!
Ouiser Boudreaux (Shirley MacLaine)

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Relax, you can't screw up her hair. Just tease it and make it look like a brown football helmet.
Shelby Eatenton Latcherie (Julia Roberts)

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There's so much static electricity in this room, I pick up everything but boys and money.
Truvy Jones (Dolly Parton)

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I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.
Annelle Dupuy Desoto (Daryl Hannah)

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That sanctuary looks like it's been hosed down with Pepto-Bismol.
M’Lynn Eatenton (Sally Field)

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I heard you got so screwed up you cut your dog out of your will and had an ungrateful nephew to sleep.
Drum Eatenton (Tom Skerritt)

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Ouiser, you sound almost chipper. What happened today — you run over a small child or something?
Clairee Belcher

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You are too twisted for color TV.
Ouiser Boudreaux

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When it comes to pain and suffering, she's right up there with Elizabeth Taylor.
Truvy Jones

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Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one!
Ouiser Boudreaux

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Louie brought his new girlfriend over, and the nicest thing I can say about her is all her tattoos are spelled correctly.
Truvy Jones

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The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize.
Clairee Belcher

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I do not see plays, because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.
Ouiser Boudreaux

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I don't like her. I don't trust anyone who does their own hair. I don't think it's natural.
Truvy Jones

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Oh, he’s a real gentleman. I bet he takes the dishes out of the sink before he pees in it!
Ouiser Boudreaux

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Honey, time marches on and eventually you realize it is marchin' across your face.
Truvy Jones

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The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
Ouiser Boudreaux

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Ouiser, I'd recognize this penmanship anywhere. You have the handwritin' of a serial killer.
Clairee Belcher

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He is a boil on the butt of humanity.
Ouiser Boudreaux

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Sammy's so confused he don't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt.
Truvy Jones

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A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Ouiser Boudreaux

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Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.
Truvy Jones

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Featured image credit: Aaron Rapoport/ Corbis Historical via Getty Images

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About the Author
Brooke Robinson
Inspiring Quotes editor, bibliophile, cinephile, and curry enthusiast based in Cleveland, Ohio.
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