Article image

12 Funny Quotes From Centenarians

The average life expectancy in the United States is roughly 77 years, but about one in every 5,000 people lives to celebrate 100.

Women account for 85% of these centenarians and 90% of supercentenarians (those who live to at least 110), and some scientists believe their longevity is partially connected to having two X chromosomes. Other research suggests that having a happy and giving personality and strong social connections could also contribute to longevity.

The most senior of our senior citizens often possess a unique perspective that transcends life’s everyday challenges. Their vast stores of experience can serve as a compass for the rest of us, providing insights into the enduring resilience of the human spirit.

These wise and witty quotes from the world’s oldest people offer some much-needed perspective and reinforce the words of the Roman philosopher Seneca: “Life is long if you know how to use it.”

I don’t have many failures. If I’m making a cake and it fails, it becomes a pudding.
Cliff Crozier (lived to 104)

Share Quote

The Lord blessed me, I think, because I’m good to my family and good to my children and grandchildren. And I feed them.
Gertrude Weaver (lived to 116)

Share Quote

When I graduated from Santa Monica High in 1927, I was voted the girl most likely to succeed. I didn’t realize it would take so long.
Gloria Stuart (lived to 100)

Share Quote

It’s nice to be here. When you’re 100 years old, it’s nice to be anywhere.
George Burns (lived to 100)

Share Quote

If your hair is done properly and you’re wearing good shoes, you can get away with anything.
Iris Apfel (102 as of 2023)

Share Quote

People ask me, “What is the secret?” The answer is simple. Choose the right grandparents.
Mac Miller (lived to 104)

Share Quote

My secret to a long life has been staying away from men. They’re just more trouble than they’re worth.
Jessie Gallan (lived to 109)

Share Quote

I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything’s fine.
Jeanne Calment (lived to 122)

Share Quote

I am old, very old, but not an idiot.
Maria Branyas Morera (116 as of 2023)

Share Quote

I have a lot of boyfriends. That’s the way to stay young.
Grandma Moses (lived to 101)

Share Quote

I don’t buy green bananas; they take too long to ripen.
Kirk Douglas (lived to 103)

Share Quote

Wouldn’t it be terrible if you’d spent all your life doing everything you were supposed to do … and suddenly one day you were run over by a big red bus, and as the wheels were crunching into you, you’d say, “Oh my God, I could have got so drunk last night!” That’s the way you should live your life, as if tomorrow you’ll be run over by a big red bus.
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother (lived to 101)

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Evening Standard/ Hulton Archive via Getty Images

Author image
About the Author
Kristina Wright
Kristina is a coffee-fueled writer living happily ever after with her family in the suburbs of Richmond, Virginia.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "___ is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect." - Steve Jobs

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

Enthusiasm is the great hill-climber.

separator icon
Elbert Hubbard
motivation theme icon

Although the world is full of suffering, it is full also of the overcoming of it.

separator icon
Helen Keller
hope theme icon

You mustn't confuse a single failure with a final defeat.

separator icon
F. Scott Fitzgerald
love theme icon

Fear has a very concrete power of keeping us from doing and saying the things that are our purpose.

separator icon
Luvvie Ajayi
wisdom theme icon

Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, but it empties it of its strength.

separator icon
George Seaton Bowes
happiness theme icon

Act as if someone just said there’s no reason to be afraid.

separator icon
Phoebe Waller-Bridge
motivation theme icon

The simple act of paying attention can take you a long way.

separator icon
Keanu Reeves
hope theme icon

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

separator icon
Kurt Vonnegut
love theme icon

Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.

separator icon
Bertrand Russell
wisdom theme icon

Art is a language which anneals individuals to each other through experiences that are uniquely human.

separator icon
Ann Lauterbach
happiness theme icon

Words empowered by justice can never be silenced.

separator icon
Isabel Ibañez