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12 Funny Quotes From Centenarians

The average life expectancy in the United States is roughly 77 years, but about one in every 5,000 people lives to celebrate 100.

Women account for 85% of these centenarians and 90% of supercentenarians (those who live to at least 110), and some scientists believe their longevity is partially connected to having two X chromosomes. Other research suggests that having a happy and giving personality and strong social connections could also contribute to longevity.

The most senior of our senior citizens often possess a unique perspective that transcends life’s everyday challenges. Their vast stores of experience can serve as a compass for the rest of us, providing insights into the enduring resilience of the human spirit.

These wise and witty quotes from the world’s oldest people offer some much-needed perspective and reinforce the words of the Roman philosopher Seneca: “Life is long if you know how to use it.”

I don’t have many failures. If I’m making a cake and it fails, it becomes a pudding.
Cliff Crozier (lived to 104)

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The Lord blessed me, I think, because I’m good to my family and good to my children and grandchildren. And I feed them.
Gertrude Weaver (lived to 116)

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When I graduated from Santa Monica High in 1927, I was voted the girl most likely to succeed. I didn’t realize it would take so long.
Gloria Stuart (lived to 100)

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It’s nice to be here. When you’re 100 years old, it’s nice to be anywhere.
George Burns (lived to 100)

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If your hair is done properly and you’re wearing good shoes, you can get away with anything.
Iris Apfel (102 as of 2023)

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People ask me, “What is the secret?” The answer is simple. Choose the right grandparents.
Mac Miller (lived to 104)

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My secret to a long life has been staying away from men. They’re just more trouble than they’re worth.
Jessie Gallan (lived to 109)

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I see badly, I hear badly, and I feel bad, but everything’s fine.
Jeanne Calment (lived to 122)

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I am old, very old, but not an idiot.
Maria Branyas Morera (116 as of 2023)

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I have a lot of boyfriends. That’s the way to stay young.
Grandma Moses (lived to 101)

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I don’t buy green bananas; they take too long to ripen.
Kirk Douglas (lived to 103)

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Wouldn’t it be terrible if you’d spent all your life doing everything you were supposed to do … and suddenly one day you were run over by a big red bus, and as the wheels were crunching into you, you’d say, “Oh my God, I could have got so drunk last night!” That’s the way you should live your life, as if tomorrow you’ll be run over by a big red bus.
Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother (lived to 101)

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Featured image credit: Evening Standard/ Hulton Archive via Getty Images

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About the Author
Kristina Wright
Kristina is a coffee-fueled writer living happily ever after with her family in the suburbs of Richmond, Virginia.
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Who said, "When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength"?

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