Article image

The Best Jokes and Quotes From Steve Martin

Innovative comic, actor, and author Steve Martin has delighted audiences and influenced comedians for decades. Known originally for his surreal stand-up comedy, he stood apart from other performers by relying less on setups and punchlines and instead showcasing his “wild and crazy” style and imaginative writing — always with a healthy dose of silliness that endeared him to fans.

After getting his start in standup, Martin went on to star in beloved films including 1979’s The Jerk, 1986’s Three Amigos, and 1991’s Father of the Bride. Along with his 57-year career as a performer, Martin has achieved success as a writer, penning plays, New Yorker pieces, and books, such as his acclaimed memoir Born Standing Up. His unique blend of slapstick comedy and prolific humor writing has made him a national treasure, honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and an array of other accolades, including five Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and the AFI Life Achievement Award.

The 77-year-old has continued to cement his legacy as co-creator of the 2021 comedy mystery series Only Murders in the Building, which he co-stars with Selena Gomez and his frequent collaborator and fellow legend Martin Short. In celebration of the comedy icon, these are some of Steve Martin’s wittiest and most incisive quotes.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Share Quote

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

Share Quote

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Share Quote

It is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.

Share Quote

Some people have a way with words, and other people… oh, uh, not have way.

Share Quote

Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.

Share Quote

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Share Quote

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

Share Quote

It's pain that changes our lives.

Share Quote

Those French! They have a different word for everything.

Share Quote

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Share Quote

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Share Quote

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Share Quote

Photo credit: Aaron Rapoport/ Corbis Historical via Getty Images

Author image
About the Author
Ryan Mazer
Ryan Mazer is a video producer and comedy writer living in New York City.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Who said, "Hope springs eternal in the human breast"?

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

We must believe that we are gifted for something.

separator icon
Marie Curie
motivation theme icon

The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.

separator icon
Carl Jung
hope theme icon

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.

separator icon
Steve Jobs
love theme icon

Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness.

separator icon
Thích Nhất Hạnh
wisdom theme icon

Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right.

separator icon
Robert Hunter
happiness theme icon

A ship is safe in harbor, but that's not what ships are for.

separator icon
John A. Shedd
motivation theme icon

Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

separator icon
August Wilson
hope theme icon

Injustice makes the rules, and courage breaks them.

separator icon
Ursula K. Le Guin
love theme icon

The world always seems brighter when you've just made something that wasn't there before.

separator icon
Neil Gaiman
wisdom theme icon

A friend is, as it were, a second self.

separator icon
Cicero
happiness theme icon

Snatching the eternal out of the desperately fleeting is the great magic trick of human existence.

separator icon
Tennessee Williams