Article image

The Best Jokes and Quotes From Steve Martin

Innovative comic, actor, and author Steve Martin has delighted audiences and influenced comedians for decades. Known originally for his surreal stand-up comedy, he stood apart from other performers by relying less on setups and punchlines and instead showcasing his “wild and crazy” style and imaginative writing — always with a healthy dose of silliness that endeared him to fans.

After getting his start in standup, Martin went on to star in beloved films including 1979’s The Jerk, 1986’s Three Amigos, and 1991’s Father of the Bride. Along with his 57-year career as a performer, Martin has achieved success as a writer, penning plays, New Yorker pieces, and books, such as his acclaimed memoir Born Standing Up.

His unique blend of slapstick comedy and prolific humor writing has made him a national treasure, honored with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and an array of other accolades, including five Grammy Awards, a Primetime Emmy Award, and the AFI Life Achievement Award.

The 77-year-old has continued to cement his legacy as co-creator of the 2021 comedy mystery series Only Murders in the Building, which he co-stars with Selena Gomez and his frequent collaborator and fellow legend Martin Short. In celebration of the comedy icon, these are some of Steve Martin’s wittiest and most incisive quotes.

I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks.

Share Quote

Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration.

Share Quote

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Share Quote

It is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart.

Share Quote

Some people have a way with words, and other people … oh, uh, not have way.

Share Quote

Thankfully, perseverance is a great substitute for talent.

Share Quote

Be so good they can't ignore you.

Share Quote

I understood that as much as I had resisted the outside, as much as I had constricted my life, as much as I had closed and narrowed the channels into me, there were still many takers for the quiet heart.

Share Quote

It's pain that changes our lives.

Share Quote

Those French! They have a different word for everything.

Share Quote

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Share Quote

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87.

Share Quote

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.

Share Quote

Featured image credit: Aaron Rapoport/ Corbis Historical via Getty Images

Author image
About the Author
Ryan Mazer
Ryan Mazer is a video producer and comedy writer living in New York City.
Play more header background
Play more icon
Daily Question
Fill in the blank: "___ is a very powerful thing, more powerful than intellect." - Steve Jobs

More Inspiration

happiness theme icon

Attention is a moral act: It creates, brings aspects of things into being.

separator icon
Iain McGilchrist
motivation theme icon

The only tired I was, was tired of giving in.

separator icon
Rosa Parks
hope theme icon

A genuinely happy person is one who has rendered others happy.

separator icon
Daisaku Ikeda
love theme icon

The excursion is the same when you go looking for your sorrow as when you go looking for your joy.

separator icon
Eudora Welty
wisdom theme icon

Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.

separator icon
Alan Watts
happiness theme icon

The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.

separator icon
Sheryl Sandberg
motivation theme icon

Success is the process itself.

separator icon
Matt Damon
hope theme icon

Love comes… when you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.

separator icon
Joyce Brothers
love theme icon

It’s the artists who do the dreaming for society.

separator icon
Méret Oppenheim
wisdom theme icon

Don't allow your rituals to become ruts.

separator icon
Todd Henry
happiness theme icon

It isn't just talent. You have to have something else. You have to have a kind of nerve.

separator icon
Georgia O’Keeffe